We thought this class would be a bit of a review given the fact that we’ve been teaching them for two months. We had a quick recap about:
- Genres
- Parts of Speech
- Guessing meaning
- Topic & Main Idea
I had everything planned to an absolute T, calculated all the possible outcomes, and of course the one outcome I didn’t expect happened… It was my idea to break everyone in their own breakout room, have them reflect individually, and come back with their thoughts after some critical thinking. I wanted to cater to our level 2 student alone, but it was a challenge to only point them toward “shared notes”… We attempted doing individual work with the students, and even prepared a set of activities for them around a “news in levels” article (we have a level 2, two level 3s, and a level 4 in class). It backfired on us.
First, they were not given enough time to complete the activities.
Second, I lost almost all their work when the breakout rooms expired (I managed to copy and paste ⅔ on my computer).
Third, our level 2 student didn’t make it past the first question, which opened my eyes to the kind of care they actually needed.
As no one made it to the last activity, I proposed we would do it together in class. It was the topic and main idea exercise, so I worked on it based on the model we were given in the level 3 textbook. Our level 4 student remarked that something wasn’t right with the text and it wasn’t what they had learned in their level 4 writing class (introduction, supporting detail #1, #2, #3, conclusion). As classroom management is still new to me, I tried to ask what was wrong about it, but they couldn’t really explain. Our sponsor teacher jumped in to rescue us and explained that they were not wrong to think that, but in this case, it is different. I couldn’t have possibly said that the reading was catered to lower-level students too… I felt overwhelmed, the wide range of mixed abilities makes it almost impossible to cater to each individual’s needs. At that moment, I felt defeated and the self-deprecating voice in me said, “You’ve let your teammate down, you’ve lost your students’ trust, you couldn’t help the level 2 student, you couldn’t help yourself when the level 4 student questioned the material.”
I voiced out my thoughts to our sponsor teacher, and she was fantastic in lifting my spirits up, so did Ken. She mentioned that being sensitive is a great quality for a teacher, and it’s ok to feel what I feel. I made a few mistakes that day, but I have to make them in order to learn, and brace myself for more curveballs.
The following Friday, in practicum, we discussed in our groups about how we felt about our classes, and I was relieved to find out that I wasn’t alone.
